Just An IV Please….

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This could not be any truer today, and I have one phat ass. I have been up since 2:10am ET, which was 4 hours and 9 minutes ago. My dog woke me up because he had to go potty. We have this pup who is half Great Dane, and he has a really sensitive tummy. Apparently, the organic peanut butter I bought is too oily for his belly. He had some in his Kong last night, and VOILA, up at 2 am to poop. UGH. So I get him outside, relieved, clean it up, and back inside. He goes right back to sleep, lucky bastard. I am not quite so lucky.

I did eventually fall back asleep, sometime after 3:30am, only to be woken 12 minutes later by my 6 year old wanting to crawl in bed with me and snuggle. It was fine though, because I had fallen just deep enough into dreamland to be in the middle of a disturbing nightmare about my ex, thank you Complex-PTSD. My 6 year old waking me up was actually a relief, because I did not like where that dream was going. Especially since the dream started with my ex having a psychotic episode, and then trying to convince me he was going to get me back….I am still unsure how he meant that in the dream, get me back like retribution, or get me back like back together. Honestly, both are equally as horrifying.

So when my 6 year old woke me up that was it for me sleep wise. I did get some killer snuggles though, and she went right back to sleep. The rest of my time has been spent thinking (obsessing) about the things I need to get done today, and what excuses I can use to not do them. You know, put them off until it becomes an emergency type thing, then run around like a chaotic mess doing everything. Proclaim my day has been so productive because I got 15 things done, when in reality, I could have just done one of them every day for the last 2 weeks, and NOT made myself insane. But where is the fun in that I ask you….nowhere.

Of course, on a day like today, by noon my brain will be mush, and I will be lucky if I remember my name let alone get things accomplished. Oh yeah, and today is a random early release day, so my youngest gets out of school at 1pm. Hmm, what are the odds I will remember that without a reminder? And cue the dog crying to go out again…

Life is a many splendored thing, who said that anyway? I have no clue, but I want to be that person in the yoga memes you see, doing yoga at sunrise on the beach, with a kick-ass toned body, not a hair out of place, and a huge smile on their face. I bet they don’t have kids though. I mean I can’t even pee alone, let alone have all that without a child needing something, or arguing with another child, or some event that requires parental involvement. And now the dog wants to eat…he really is just another child.

Someone pass the coffee….

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